Behind the pretty pictures, there is plenty of ugliness happening behind the scenes and screens of Instagram. Yesterday I experienced some of the most despicable behavior I’ve ever witnessed on social media. Our bookstagram community has changed recently, becoming more like the rest of the internet, less inclusive and more about competition than ever before. On two separate accounts, I’ve been around the bookstagram sphere for close to three years to see the changes firsthand. Unfortunately, yesterday was the worst day I’ve ever experienced on social media. I witnessed one of the most beloved accounts in my small circle and many of their followers go after someone who disagreed with their opinion, in public and privately in DMs. This group became like a pack of jackals simply because they believed they were “right” over a silly issue. Threats were made, people were blocked for no apparent reason other than simple disagreement, and it became ugly. My first thought while witnessing this and facing a bit of backlash of my own was, “no wonder teen suicide is on the rise.” If adults are willing to behave this vilely, what does social media become in the hands of an angered teen or child? If middle-aged adults are willing to be bullies, no wonder our world is the way it is.
I realize my small voice isn’t going to change the world, but I thought it was important to speak out against this issue. It never matters how “right” someone or their group of friends believes them to be, one should never berate another human.
I worry hiding behind screens is making us lose our humanity as a whole. People are more vain and self-absorbed than ever. It’s honestly hard not to be when so many of us are trying to promote ourselves as worthy influencers. People are crueler, often forgetting there are people behind the words on the screen with feelings, family, and friends.
Not all bad came from the ugliness and personal attacks I encountered yesterday, however. It made me question how important social media has become to me and if I want to continue letting it hold so much weight in my life. It made me think of the times I’m distracted around my kids or husband, the times I put a virtual conversation above a physical one, how much vanity is seeping into my soul, or how often I’m talking about books as opposed to reading them. I decided to take a break, to focus on real-life and how I want things to go from this point forward as an influencer/blogger. When I make my way back to the Instagram world, I can guarantee I will no longer be playing the follower game. I’m getting back to basics and focusing on photography, books, and the friendships I’ve made. If people want to be a part of it, great! If not, that’s great, too. I don’t need publishers to recognize me to enjoy books. I have plenty to read already. I’m going to continue to be authentically me and honest with you, even when people choose to behave like vipers and use those moments of vulnerability against me.
Life is too short to be anything but real…and kind.
Ashes Books & Bobs 
This makes me so sad to hear!! I’m new to the bookstagram universe, and I’ve only had great experiences so far, but do also have an insta for my pup that I’ve seen lots of negativity on. I’ve had to remove myself from that world – it’s not worth the drama! Now I just post cute pics of my pup for my family and friends, and who cares if anyone else likes them!
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I felt so down and discouraged yesterday. I honestly felt like deleting it all. Nothing on the internet is worth feeling that horribly over. Not worth the drama is exactly right.
I hope bookstagram continues to be a great place for you.
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Such a shame.
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It is!
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Thank you so much for sharing this.!!
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Absolutely. I thought it needed to be addressed. We can all use a reminder from time to time, myself included.
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Yeah . People just create issues or get sad about small things and then every one starts talking about it in their stories and bad naming everyone. Feels really childish. I think that’s why I have started seeing people move to Twitter book community.
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I used to hate Twitter because it seemed so political, but it is WAY more supportive than Instagram is these days. I really wanted to be done with it all yesterday but I decided it would be stupid to let negative people steal something that brings me joy most of the time.
Twitter is my happy place these days, that’s for sure.
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I try to not follow people on Twitter who have give many political opinions. That keeps me sane . But yesss , no one should make you give up something you heartily enjoy.💗💗💗💗
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Yes, me too. That’s the best way to stay sane, for sure. haha!
Thank you!! ❤
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Such a shame and it’s always disappointing to witness.
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It’s definitely discouraging.
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This makes me so sad to hear. I have had a personal IG for several years, but have only made my profile public a couple months ago and am new to bookstagram as well. I fortunately haven’t witnessed anything negative towards me, but I have seen others tear each other down over petty things and it breaks my heart. Sometimes it feels so competitive and it’s like people are forgetting why we came here in the first place – to share our love for books! I completely understand you needing a break. I will miss you! Seriously, you are one of my fav insta friends and one of the only GENUINE people I have found there. Send me an email if you ever want to chat or vent or just nerd out about books! I would love to be a virtual pen pal : ) bmorebookbabe@gmail.com
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I’m so glad you haven’t had a negative personal experience and I hope you never do. It sure made me feel like closing down my account for good, but I didn’t want to lose something I enjoy most of the time or the great connections I have made with people like yourself!
The competitive nature of it lately has become incredibly discouraging. You’re right – people have lost sight of the reason we’re there. It shouldn’t be for freebies and recognition, but for friendships with likeminded people.
Thank you so much for your kind words. I feel the exact same about you and I’m so glad Instagram brought us together. I sent you an email so you can have my email address too! Thank you for your support!! ❤
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Wow! I haven’t seen anything like this on bookstagram but have been in fandoms on tumblr and twitter that have blown up into rage fests. It’s definitely unfortunate when this stuff happens, especially with something that makes so many people happy. I know I can get a little crazy about bookstagram but stepping back and just enjoying the process and the books can be so refreshing. Glad you are doing what you need to do to care for yourself!
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It’s scary when the ugly sides of people come out, that’s for sure. It’s hard to not lose hope in humanity or feel discouraged. Taking a break has already been so wonderful. I feel like a weight has been lifted off in just 1 1/2 days!
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I definitely do see some ugliness on social media… Less on Instagram than Facebook and Twitter, but it’s there… And I think the ability to hide behind a screen contributes significantly to this kind of thing. I think we feel divorced from the consequences when it happens online, for some reason… I have to say, I have never been involved in any of it, and I tend to just steer clear of any drama on there. If someone’s kicking off for no reason, or being unpleasant, I unfollow them. If someone’s posts make me uncomfortable or I don’t agree with them, I just make a conscious choice about whether I want to see them in my feed. But it does worry me that this stuff goes on, particularly with adults – who, supposedly, ought to know better.
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Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on these issues. I agree with you. In many ways, social media has taxed our relationships more than helped them. It used to be more difficult for people to show their ugly sides since people usually have more self respect in the actual world.
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Oh totally! I mean, the things people will say online sometimes – they’d be worried people would punch them if they said it to their face! There are good things about social media… but I think it definitely has to be used judiciously!
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Hiding behind a screen allows the hate to come out. People feel they can say anything siting at a computer but would never say the very same things to your face. It is the scourge of social media.
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You’re absolutely right. I have a hard time believing people would be half as cruel in person.
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I really enjoyed this and it hit me right in the heart. I took a few days off from doing much on Bookstagram because I was feeling worn out from the constant “interactions” I felt like I needed to do in order to maintain followers. I like this gentle reminder of the dangers and what really matters most. So insightful and so appreciative.
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Yes! That’s been really hard for me, too. I have only so much energy to give people and it was leaving me feeling depleated at the end of the day just trying to keep up with everyone. Even one day away so far has been a huge help and relief.
Thank you so much for reading this and taking the time to comment!
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Unfortunately Instagram like many other social media do have some trolls. Please don’t let a handful of people take away your way of sharing your love for books from you. They are great people out there. It’s like Twitter. I unfollow or mute anyone who is negative.
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You’re right. It’s just disconcerting when it’s a bigger and more well respected account doing the trolling. Some time away from Instagram has been nice to reset and recharge.
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I understand that. I’m sorry. Again, hope this won’t lose faith in the community. 😊
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Thank you for writing the last line. 🙂
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Thank you for reading! 🙂
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WOW – I am so glad somebody has spoken up about this. Instagram is frustrating because it is all about competition now – all about the likes and follows.
Great post!
-Lena
http://www.lenasnotebook.co.uk
x
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Thank you for sharing! I agree!
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Thank you for reading!! ❤️
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But even if I didn’t agree, I respect your opinion and wish everyone online could be nice like you!
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Thank you so much. I appreciate the compliment. I wish more people could move on from disagreements. Sure it might sting a little at the time, but being rude doesn’t solve anything, ya know? 🙁
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This is one of the reasons I’ve never jumped on the #bookstagram bandwagon. But I do agree with you about the rise in suicide. We never who the person is on the other side of the screen and when we are kind or when we are hateful, we affect that person in some way. How, we never will know.
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It’s really sad because it didn’t use to be so competitive. Publishers have come to realize the usefulness of promoting books on there and it’s made people crazy trying to get said books. It’s such a shame really when we forget there are people behind the screens.
Thanks for reading this and sharing your thoughts.
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Thank you so much for sharing this!! I have been on bookstagram for almost 2 years now, and like you, I have noticed this change as well. I know I’m.not the only one to notice either because I e had this conversation with many others. I too feel like taking a step back. It’s unbelievable how grown adults can act!!
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Thank you so much for reading this. I think a lot of the changes recently have come from publishers recognizing the usefulness of bookstagram, but that’s also made it more competitive between people. I think a lot of newer accounts are in it for the freebies and giveways, more than sharing a love of reading, unfortunately. It’s been nice to step back and readjust my priorities.
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